I’ve reflected on the death quite a bit over the past few weeks. My wife’s uncle passed away recently and we attended his funeral in Idaho. Inevitably our thoughts turned to his brother, my wife’s father, who died a few years ago. We thought about the man that he was, and what he might be doing now. We considered the fact that my wife’s uncle, his brother, is now joining him and wondered what the two of them might be doing together. As devout Latter-Day Saints, we have a firm believe in the afterlife and confidence that when we pass on from this life we will go somewhere better and be reunited with our families for eternity. While this belief may not bring joy at the passing of a loved one, it helps to ease the suffering involved with the bereavement.
Last week and neighbor of ours passed away suddenly, the fourth neighbor in the past year. Me are still fairly new to the neighborhood, and have not met and gotten to know everyone here, but we can see the effect that these passings have on our friends. As I was driving home from work I reflected on the video, On her reaction to the news that she was dying and how she handled it. I began wondering if I was ready to die. I considered all the things I have not done, the things I would never get to see. I thought about never getting to see my children attend high school, or college and all the important events that occur in one’s life span. The most interesting part, I realized, was that I was less concerned about missing things in my life as I was about missing theirs. I look forward to meeting my children’s spouses, seeing them have children of their own, and helping them understand how to buy their first home, finish school, and get a good job.
Was I prepared to miss these exciting experiences and meet my maker now? Was my family ready for my passing, if it were to come immediately and with little notice? Had I taught my children everything I wanted them to know and been a good enough father that they would remember me fondly? Would I be leaving my affairs in such a way that life would be easier for my wife after I was gone? Or would all my efforts to provide a good life for them be in vain and my passing cause them to take a dramatic turn for the worse?
While I certainly don’t wish for death, I personally feel like I am more prepared for it than I ever have been before. I feel confident that, while my family would miss me and I would miss them, they would get along fine. They are strong, healthy, and happy. My wife is still young enough and pretty enough that it would be easy for her to find a new husband, (should she choose to do so). Our life insurance is sufficient to provide for the rest of their lives, and there are plenty of friends and family around to support and provide help where needed.
More than this, however, I live with the belief that the work we do here on this earth is of the small significance compared to that which we will accomplish in eternity. I do not downplay the importance of living a good life while we are here, but I believe wholeheartedly that when we get to the other side we will look back on our time here, on the things we place importance on, and say “why did I think that was such a big deal?” I believe we will have a better, more wonderful existence being reunited with our family and friends in such a way that death, pain and temptation can no longer affect us. In some ways I long for it, a life where I do not have to work to make a living, where I don’t leave my family in the morning and return home at night missing them during the day. A life where we could spend our time together working and doing things as a family. Something but like that actually seems like... well, heaven.
